A Florida Man who was caught shoplifting a couple of sex toys told police he had enough funds to pay for the items at a Vero Beach sex shop but was “too embarrassed” to do so.
The items Christopher Masters attempted to steal? A butt plug (sold out online!) and a “stroker can,” or what some like to a call a pocket pus$$y. The items totaled about $30. Via the Smoking Gun:
Masters, who was collared by store security, “admitted to stealing the screw butt plug and stroker can,” noted police. “Masters further stated that he had enough money on him but he was too embarrassed to pay for them because they were sex toys.”
Masters, who is listed as a mechanic in jail records, was charged with shoplifting, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail (from which he was later released on bond).
Buy them online, bro. The items are pictured below.