It’s the fourth and final preseason game for the Miami Dolphins and I’m quite sad.
This is the final broadcast of the year featuring Dick Stockton, Bob Griese, and Nat Moore in the same booth. Maybe forever.
Eventually someone high up in the organization is going to intently listen to this telecast and have a stroke.
Our first early prop bet has surfaced:
What will Dick refer to Hard Rock Stadium as for his first mention?
- Sun Life Stadium – 2/1
- Hard Cock Stadium – 3/1
- Hard Rock Stadium – 10/1
Warning: This will be brief because one can only handle documenting Dick and Bob in short bursts, like roller coasters, or you’re bound to throw up.
The whiskey is poured and the broadcast is kicking but I’m sitting here in disbelief that Dick Stockton got “Hard Rock Stadium” correct on his first go. Disappointed even.
I’m not merely surprised he got the name right because he perpetually mails in these preseason clown shows — he’s typically excellent during real games — but because his name is synonymous with male genitalia. It would’ve been perfect.
And what the heck is going on here with Drew Rosenhaus? Is he showing off his twin wives?
Rosenhaus and family at Hard Rock Stadium pic.twitter.com/9ApEY1k3sP
— Slice Miami (@SliceMiami) September 1, 2016
Every kid in America is going to want to be a sports agent after seeing that picture.
15:00 – The trio didn’t waste any time to get things rolling.
Dear football gods,
Please let this magical broadcast team return to us next preseason
— Josh Baumgard (@joshbaumgard) September 1, 2016
15:00 – Zac Dysert is Miami’s starting quarterback this evening and, holy hell, I’m gonna need more whiskey.
14:46 – Jay Ajayi fumbles the first play from scrimmage and we get this gem.
“Not a good way for the Dolphins to start the game,” Bob says. “Not a good way to start for Ajayi.”
Jesus. This diary might not go past the first quarter.
11:55 – Nat decides to change Jakeem Grant’s name to Kareem. DRINK.
We’re gonna wrap up this up shortly because Nat is getting ornery. And with Mr. Griese next to him, it’s fully understandable.
Bob: "Nat, you got Sun Pass, you got Uber, you got, what else you got?"
Nat:"Well, we got a FOOTBALL GAME here, Bob" pic.twitter.com/iJ7MZVG5Om
— Josh Baumgard (@joshbaumgard) September 2, 2016
I imagine Dick and Bob’s night-before prep work includes pounding scotch, smoking stogies, and playing bingo in someone’s living room. And while Nat’s intently studying rosters — he’s the only one who seems to at least make an effort — Bob is blowing into his ear and looking away before Nat turns around.
Before we tie the bow on what could be the final chapter of the Adventures of Dick and Bob (and Nat), let’s toss it to Twitter.
Hard to believe that Dick Stockton used to call NBA Finals for CBS.
— Dolfan Dumpy (@Al_RodMiami) September 1, 2016
This Dick Stockton, Bob Griese, Nat Moore, Steve Ross interview has me needing a hip replacement
— fitz (@fitziest) September 2, 2016
Maybe I'm just realizing this, but Stockton, Moore, and Griese have little to no chemistry in the broadcast booth.
— Esteban Cebreros (@az_dolfan) September 2, 2016
Nat kills Stockton’s joke, and Griese is completely caught off guard by Dick’s question. pic.twitter.com/6xBXg5RGoJ
— Slim Goody (@SkinnyMcGhee) August 13, 2016
Any chance we can get a new Madden 17 patch to have Dick, Bob, and Nat calls games?