It’s the fourth and final preseason game for the Miami Dolphins and I’m quite sad.

This is the final broadcast of the year featuring Dick Stockton, Bob Griese, and Nat Moore in the same booth. Maybe forever.

Eventually someone high up in the organization is going to intently listen to this telecast and have a stroke.

Our first early prop bet has surfaced:

What will Dick refer to Hard Rock Stadium as for his first mention?

  • Sun Life Stadium – 2/1
  • Hard Cock Stadium – 3/1
  • Hard Rock Stadium – 10/1

Warning: This will be brief because one can only handle documenting Dick and Bob in short bursts, like roller coasters, or you’re bound to throw up.

Pregame

The whiskey is poured and the broadcast is kicking but I’m sitting here in disbelief that Dick Stockton got “Hard Rock Stadium” correct on his first go. Disappointed even.

I’m not merely surprised he got the name right because he perpetually mails in these preseason clown shows — he’s typically excellent during real games — but because his name is synonymous with male genitalia. It would’ve been perfect.

And what the heck is going on here with Drew Rosenhaus? Is he showing off his twin wives?

Every kid in America is going to want to be a sports agent after seeing that picture.

First Quarter

15:00 – The trio didn’t waste any time to get things rolling.

15:00 – Zac Dysert is Miami’s starting quarterback this evening and, holy hell, I’m gonna need more whiskey.

14:46 – Jay Ajayi fumbles the first play from scrimmage and we get this gem.

“Not a good way for the Dolphins to start the game,” Bob says. “Not a good way to start for Ajayi.”

Jesus. This diary might not go past the first quarter.

11:55 – Nat decides to change Jakeem Grant’s name to Kareem. DRINK.

Second Quarter

We’re gonna wrap up this up shortly because Nat is getting ornery. And with Mr. Griese next to him, it’s fully understandable.

I imagine Dick and Bob’s night-before prep work includes pounding scotch, smoking stogies, and playing bingo in someone’s living room. And while Nat’s intently studying rosters — he’s the only one who seems to at least make an effort — Bob is blowing into his ear and looking away before Nat turns around.

Before we tie the bow on what could be the final chapter of the Adventures of Dick and Bob (and Nat), let’s toss it to Twitter.

Any chance we can get a new Madden 17 patch to have Dick, Bob, and Nat calls games?