It’s 2016 and Al Golden is no longer the head coach of the Miami Hurricanes football team — THANK THE FOOTBALL GODS — but he’s still out here spewing nonsense and making excuses because that’s what Al Golden does.

Now the tight ends coach with the Detroit Lions, his bio on the team website has one rather interesting and troubling sentence, exposed by Twitter user  this evening.


Yes that highlighted line is written as follows:

“In 2012, despite NCAA allegations following a program investigation that occurred prior to his hiring, Golden led the Hurricanes to their first Coastal Division Championship in just his second season.”

Are you kidding me?

I’m not sure what’s more egregious, the fact he’s STILL using sanctions as a crutch at a program he both failed and is no longer coaching at or the fact it states “he led the Hurricanes to their first Coastal Division Championship.”

Yes, the Miami Hurricanes self-imposed a postseason ban that year to help lessen potential impending sanctions but they were in a three-way tie with Georgia Tech and North Carolina that year. Both Miami and UNC self-imposed. Had all three been eligible, UNC would’ve been in the ACC title game instead of Georgia Tech. Now if Miami didn’t self-impose, they technically would’ve slid in but only because of UNC’s self-imposed ban, so it would have been under some unusual conditions. It’s an extreme exaggeration.

As our own Vishnu Parasuraman points out, “it’s the perfect bio for him because he didn’t accomplish anything but can pretend he did, and spin it to people who don’t know any better.”

The Al Golden Excuse Machine lives on. Enjoy him, Detroit.