Days away from the premiere of the Hassan Whiteside Experience and the Miami Heat’s $98 million man can add another bullet on his list of doubters.

FiveThirtyEight, an ESPN affiliated site utilizing advanced metrics that projected the Heat to win 33 games this season, pumped out their latest batch of player comparisons for every name in the game and their Whiteside comp is laughable.

They consider Whiteside’s most similar player — past or present — to be retired stiff Joel Przybilla, a longtime backup with career averages of 3.9 points and 6.2 rebounds.

Hassan, your thoughts?

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And if you’re not familiar with Joel’s work:

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While it’s his “most comparable player,” the similarities are based on a scale of 1 to 100. The Przybilla comp is a 22, with Chris “Birdman” Andersen behind him at 20.

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via FiveThirtyEight

The comparison appears to be drawn from Przybilla’s 2007-08 season, when he averaged 4.8 points and 8.4 boards in 23.6 minutes — a career year for him. His advanced stats were slid, with a true shooting percentage of 61 percent and rebound rate of 21.0. Whiteside had a True Shooting Percentage of 63 percent and rebound rate of 23.1 last season.

Other young Heat player comparisons:

  • Justise Winsow (Moe Harkless)
  • Tyler Johnson (Michael Cooper)
  • Josh Richardson (Derek Smith)
  • Dion Waiters (Calbert Cheaney)
  • Willie Reed (Festus Ezeli)

I can understand how the average fan may be interested in these because it’s nice preseason fodder, but there’s absolutely no substance with most of them.

Comparing Whiteside to Przybilla, on any level, is insanity.