In summing up the Miami Dolphins‘ bizarre win over the Los Angeles Rams yesterday, ESPN’s Dan Le Batard aptly compared it to having two hours and 55 minutes of bad sex for “five minutes of the good stuff.”

“What the Miami Dolphins did to you yesterday, I’m telling you that wasn’t fun and I don’t care that they won,” Le Batard said during the local hour of his radio show. “It was an awful way for me to spend three hours. Awful. They ruined my Sunday. So it wasn’t fun because it was crap and it had five minutes of interesting and I don’t want to have three hours of sex for five minutes of the good stuff. I’d rather keep those two hours and 55 minutes to my self. You could keep your five minutes of good sex if I have to deal with two hours and 55 minutes of bad sex.

“That game was not fun. You can’t tell me that game was fun.”

Agreed. I would’ve preferred to give up all of it and see the highlights of the final two drives after the fact.

Considering three hours of continuous sex is not plausible nor desirable for most of us, the more realistic analogy would be watching a shitty three-hour movie with an amazing five-minute finale. Nope!

Listen to Le Batard’s humorous take below.