One of the few things we pride ourselves on here at Slice Miami is producing entertaining content, the type of posts designed to hopefully make you laugh, learn, scream and sometimes cry.
Here are our 16 most popular posts of 2016, coming on the heels of our first full year in existence.
Happy New Year to all. We love every one of you. Except you, Adam.
You, sir, are an insufferable turd.
Dolfan Adam seems like a true gent pic.twitter.com/c53Jb06m3m
— Josh Baumgard (@joshbaumgard) December 29, 2016
I played high school hoops by the way, not very well but I was on the team.
“After a tumultuous offseason, Pat Riley is finally on speaking terms again with Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, and LeBron James. Sort of…”
“The reason Jarvis Landry gets talked up, part of the reason is because he went to school with Odell Beckham so they always throw him in the graphics with Odell Beckham,” Fahey said on the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz.
Omar Kelly just said Landry could get a $50-60 million deal from the Dolphins. Tavon 2.0.
— Cian Fahey (@Cianaf) December 12, 2016
“Earlier today we posted a hater’s guide to obscure Miami sports memorabilia and among the slew of bizarre and never-gonna-sell items is a Jeffrey Loria business card signed by the Miami Marlins’ owner, which will run you $54.99 if you “buy it now” on Ebay. ”
“So I maxed out Tannehill’s awareness, accuracy, and throw power to 99, giving him an overall rating of 99, which made him the best quarterback in the Madden universe.”
“‘The Cleveland Hair Twirl’ is also a repulsive sex act that features two nipple clamps, grape jelly and a blue-ringed octopus. (And if it isn’t, can someone pleeeeaaaaase go add that to Urban Dictionary real quick?).”
“To illustrate the changes we have seen, I’ve decided to rank teams most likely to win a championship in the near future, in ascending order. To be clear, this is an extremely short-term outlook for all the teams. These rankings are based on the probability that each team will contend for a championship in the next year or two.”
“He was publicly quoted as saying, I want to do that … and what LeBron wants, LeBron gets and how great would that be for the league? A super team of aging superstars with their goal to get Carmelo and Chris Paul things they’ve never gotten.”
“Ima say it again,” Johnson wrote amid some apparent uncertainty regarding his commitment. “I take this cane shit serous, I’m coming for heads, we gonna kill shit, I’m a cane for life, I am the baddest mf you know.”
“Sure enough, she didn’t disappoint, asking Beasley if he would like to not only eat her ass when they return to South Florida during the bye week, but also how she’s going to fart in his mouth after said ass eating.”
“Unbridled Aggression. That’s what the Miami Hurricanes unleashed on FAMU last Saturday. Yes, it’s FAMU. And yes, Al Golden would have likely beaten FAMU just as badly. But from a qualitative standpoint, there was no comparison. Even against FAMU, we could see defenders playing downhill for the first time in five years.”
“We’re all wondering the same thing: Is Ryan Tannehill elite? Only one way to find out… live chat sessions across various shopping websites, the same strategy we deployed in trying to figure out whether LeBron James was going to return to Miami last summer.”
“Twitter erupted. The game became meaningless. Because testosterone.
And the story becomes more titillating as the mysterious lady in black stepped forward after seeing the uproar she had created.”
“The Final Four set up perfectly for a Pat Riley-Dwyane Wade showdown. Instead the blind but loyal army of (16) Stugotz and the cult of (11) Marlins Man have pushed these two into the Miami Sports Bracket final.”
“Señor Ross is selling,” his 92-year-old housekeeper Alberta told Slice Miami this morning by messenger. “I overhear him on the telephone with Micky. Not Micky from Disney. Micky from El Heat. I hear him say ‘fine, 2.3 billion, done deal.’”