The real March Madness is here: The 2017 Miami Sports Media Bracket.
While last year’s offering included 64 names across four categories (front office, players, media, and courtside) — led by No. 16 seed and eventual champion Stugotz — we’re simplifying things this year because that thing took way too damn long to produce and execute.
This year we start with 34 members of the Miami sports media (one play-in game) connected to Miami. For those unhappy with seeding or why some folks were or were not included, we kindly ask you to please send all inquiries to the 12-man anonymous Slice Miami Bracket Committee, who can be reached at email@example.com.
The 34 contestants, in no particular order:
Local radio (11) – Joe Rose, Channing Crowder, Marc Hochman, Big O, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Amber Wilson, Jonathan Zaslow, Mike Ryan, Ethan Skolnick, Brendan Tobin and Andy Slater.
Local writers (11) – Greg Cote, Adam Beasley, Manny Navarro, Ira Winderman, Omar Kelly, Linda Robertson, Dave Hyde, Armando Salguero, Jason Lieser, Tim Reynolds, and Barry Jackson.
Game broadcast (5) – Eric Reid, Tony Fiorentino, Jason Jackson, Joe Zagacki, and Mike Inglis.
Local television (2) – Will Manso and Adam Kuperstein
National media (2) – Joy Taylor and Jorge Sedano
Assholes (1) – Michael Rapaport
Voting for the play-in game begins now and ends at 9 p.m. (Update: Dan Le Batard has won the play-in game by a dominant margin)
Some quick notes, relayed from the committee:
- This bracket may have been created under the influence.
- The matchups were absolutely manipulated to enhance any pre-established beef among media members and to add entertainment value.
- For specific-team writers, we focused on the popular pro teams (Heat and Dolphins).
- The Final Four of last year’s media region were rewarded with No. 1 seeds (Stugotz, Cote, Rose, and Hoch) while Le Batard was penalized for getting smoked by Stugotz in Round 1 last year, hence the play-in game.
- The only nationally media eligible were Miamians.
- Sedano and Skolnick were punished with No. 8 seeding because of their dire preseason Miami Heat predictions.
- For local radio personalities, hosts during morning and afternoon drive were given preference. A maximum of two hosts per show were included.
- Rapaport’s resuscitated soul was chosen because we wanted to see him get another ass whooping.
- Papi was not included because he’d obliterate the field.
Round 1 Voting: Gotz and Cote Region (ends Tuesday at 9 p.m.)
Round 1 Voting: Rose and Hoch Regions (ends Tuesday at 9 p.m.)
View a large version of the bracket here.