The real March Madness is here: The 2017 Miami Sports Media Bracket.

While last year’s offering included 64 names across four categories (front office, players, media, and courtside) — led by No. 16 seed and eventual champion Stugotz —  we’re simplifying things this year because that thing took way too damn long to produce and execute.

This year we start with 34 members of the Miami sports media (one play-in game) connected to Miami. For those unhappy with seeding or why some folks were or were not included, we kindly ask you to please send all inquiries to the 12-man anonymous Slice Miami Bracket Committee, who can be reached at pissoff@gmail.com.

The 34 contestants, in no particular order:

Local radio (11) – Joe Rose, Channing Crowder, Marc Hochman, Big O, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Amber Wilson, Jonathan Zaslow, Mike Ryan, Ethan Skolnick, Brendan Tobin and Andy Slater.

Local writers (11) – Greg Cote, Adam Beasley, Manny Navarro, Ira Winderman, Omar Kelly, Linda Robertson, Dave Hyde, Armando Salguero, Jason Lieser, Tim Reynolds, and Barry Jackson.

Game broadcast (5) – Eric Reid, Tony Fiorentino, Jason Jackson, Joe Zagacki, and Mike Inglis.

Local television (2) – Will Manso and Adam Kuperstein

National media (2) – Joy Taylor and Jorge Sedano

Assholes (1) – Michael Rapaport

Voting for the play-in game begins now and ends at 9 p.m. (Update: Dan Le Batard has won the play-in game by a dominant margin)

Some quick notes, relayed from the committee:

  • This bracket may have been created under the influence.
  • The matchups were absolutely manipulated to enhance any pre-established beef among media members and to add entertainment value.
  • For specific-team writers, we focused on the popular pro teams (Heat and Dolphins).
  • The Final Four of last year’s media region were rewarded with No. 1 seeds (Stugotz, Cote, Rose, and Hoch) while Le Batard was penalized for getting smoked by Stugotz in Round 1 last year, hence the play-in game.
  • The only nationally media eligible were Miamians.
  • Sedano and Skolnick were punished with No. 8 seeding because of their dire preseason Miami Heat predictions.
  • For local radio personalities, hosts during morning and afternoon drive were given preference. A maximum of two hosts per show were included.
  • Rapaport’s resuscitated soul was chosen because we wanted to see him get another ass whooping.
  • Papi was not included because he’d obliterate the field.

Voting

Round 1 Voting: Gotz and Cote Region (ends Tuesday at 9 p.m.)

Round 1 Voting: Rose and Hoch Regions (ends Tuesday at 9 p.m.)

View a large version of the bracket here.